Sisterly Advice
by blacksouledbutterfly
Summary: A little fight while home for the holidays leads to some advice from Puck's little sister


After having known Noah for nearly a decade she would think that she would be used to the fact that he could say a whole lot of stupid, asinine things and that he didn't always think things through before he said or did them. She would think she'd be used to that but somehow? Somehow she just never got used to it and she doubted she ever would. That made for a very difficult relationship between the two of them because they were always drawn to each other in some way but she keeps on getting disappointed in him in some way. She knows she'll never really understand it.

After knowing Noah for almost a decade and dating him for three years she would think that she would be very used to him, that she could get used to the way Noah was. And for the most part she was used to it and accepted it. But there were times when she just wanted to slap him so hard upside the head that he had a headache for a year. Maybe two years. It was just something that was a constant between them, a back and forth between understanding each other and not understand each other at all. It went back and forth about a million times. She loved him, she loved him very much but that didn't mean that she didn't get frustrated with him on a daily basis. Or at least a semi daily basis.

They're back in Lima for Thanksgiving. Last year they spent it with her family, this year they're spending it with his mother and his sister. She doesn't mind spending the holiday with his family. She can stop in briefly to see her fathers and then spend the holiday with his family. They did the inverse the year before. It's not as though she eats most of the stuff that his mother makes for the holidays since she still keeps her vegan diet but at the same time? His mother tries to make things that she _can_ eat. She's thoughtful that way.

The first year they spent Thanksgiving with his family, the first year that they were dating around that time, she got his old room for the night and Noah got the couch which she found both funny and adorable at the same time. This time his mother seems to have gotten over her issue of them sharing a bed and she's decided to let them share his old room that year. She's not sure if his mother is up to something but she sort of figures she is. She's a lovely woman but more often than not? She has an ulterior motive. Rachel figures it has to be one of two things- either she wants to test and see how strong their relationship really is or she's so determined to get herself a grandchild soon that she doesn't care if she has to put them in a situation to possibly create one outside of wedlock right there in her own home. The thing is that she doesn't think that she's taking birth control so she's not going to be giving the woman any grandchildren anytime soon. She just isn't ready to have a baby anytime yet. She thinks one day, maybe, but not yet.

She's sitting on Noah's bed in one of his shirts and a pair of her old knee socks when she gets a phone call from back in New York. Nadia, a girl she had become friends with when she got her first very tiny role in a Broadway show calls her up and lets her know that almost the instant she got to her boyfriend's house he proposed to her. the little squeal Rachel lets out must be louder than she thought it would be because Noah comes rushing back into the room from the hall still shirtless, his eyes wide as he looks at her but Rachel just hangs up the phone with this huge smile on her face.

She pretty much hops off the bed and over to him, gets on her toes and presses a kiss to his mouth, this slow smile spreading across her face. She knows she's very excited for a bit of information that has nothing to do with her but she's happy for her friend and she can't see any problem with that. Why shouldn't she be happy? But Noah just looks confused so she lets out this little laugh, her arms wrapped around his neck as she looks at him. "Nadia just got engaged."

"Oh." Noah keeps on looking at her like maybe she grew an extra head and then just nods a little like he's not sure what to say and maybe he's not. It happens a lot. They both say things that make the other one rather confused for the most part. But he looks confused in a way that's not the normal way, not like he doesn't understand what she's saying. It's more like he's confused as to why she seems to think that's such a big deal. "So?"

"So? I'm excited for her. Let me be excited."

"Well, you can be decided. But I don't really get it. I mean, what's the big deal? I don't really get the big deal about marriage. I don't know why it's so exciting."

Rachel isn't sure why his words surprise her but they do. They surprise her and she backs away from him, backs away with her eyebrows furrowed. "It's exciting because they love each other."

"Okay. But love doesn't mean you have to get married. I mean, shit. I love you, babe. Doesn't mean I'm going to go and ask you to marry me or anything. Marriage doesn't mean that much really."

"Yeah…" She nods her head slowly. "Yeah…" But she doesn't know what else to say.

Noah just sort of kisses her forehead and then heads out of the room to go back to the bathroom down the hall to continue with his shower. And she just sits back down on the bed and sort of chews on the nail of her thumb. She knows she should say something to Noah, let him know that she doesn't like the way he's talking about marriage. She knows she should tell him that him talking about marriage like it's stupid upsets her but she doesn't know how she can say it without sounding like she's mad at him. Because she's not mad at him. Not really.

She just doesn't understand why he's dating her if there's no chance that their relationship is going to head towards marriage. Why date someone for years if you can't see yourself possibly marrying them one day? Especially when you know that the person that you're dating hopes to get married one day and have a family? She knows that Noah knows that about her. So what does he expect? Her to be content with throwing away all of her plans for a future family just so she can keep on being his girlfriend? She loves him, she loves him dearly and she genuinely does want to be with him but she can't bring herself to even consider the notion of just being his girlfriend for the rest of her life. She loves him. She loves him very much but she wants more than that.

She would like to possibly marry him one day but if he finds marriage stupid or ridiculous? Well, she doesn't see that happening. Yes, it's possible that they're going to break up in the future but she doesn't know for sure. And if they don't breakup, if they keep on dating? She wants to be able to spend her life with him as a wife and maybe the mother of his children if she ends up having them, not as his girlfriend. Being his girlfriend is fine for then. She doesn't mind being his girlfriend at the time because they're still pretty young. But in ten years she doesn't want to still be his girlfriend if they're together. It just doesn't suit her. It's not who she is.

She does all she can do not to show how upset that actually makes her because the last thing she wants to do is let it be known that she is that upset with him. Or rather upset with his point of view when it comes to marriage. But she plays the part. She does the best she can to act happy about the whole thing. Well, about being told by her boyfriend of three years that he doesn't believe in marriage. Of course that would upset her. But she plays the part and acts like it doesn't bother her. She has to pretend it doesn't bother her for the sake of Noah's mother. She doesn't want her to worry that things are going wrong for their holiday dinner. It's not Thanksgiving Day yet though. It won't be until the next day. She just has to wait a couple of days until they get back to New York and then she can tell Noah what she's feeling about the whole wedding thing.

The thing is that Sarah knows her pretty well by now. And she isn't the little girl she once was. She's a teenager and teenagers are a lot more observant than most eleven year-olds which was how old she was when Rachel first met her. She keeps watching her like she's trying to read her. She keeps watching her like she's trying to make sure that everything is alright with her, with both her and her brother. It's sort of funny to have Sarah watching her the way that she is. But she also doesn't like it because she doesn't want Sarah knowing that there are things between her and Noah that aren't exactly _good_.

Somehow Sarah can tell though because she just looks at her like she needs to figure something out, like she has to know exactly what's in Rachel's mind. And it's sort of funny that she's looking at her the way she is, that she's practically trying to read her mind. She knows Sarah cant but the idea that she's trying to make her squirm a little because the two of them are standing in the kitchen alone making dinner for them all that night. She wishes she wasn't doing that but she had volunteered before she had gotten that lovely phone call from her friend.

Sarah watches her as she chops up tomatoes and Rachel stands there stirring up the post on the stove. She tries her best not to feel uncomfortable under the younger girl's gaze but she sort of can't help herself. She doesn't like the searching look because it makes her feel really uncomfortable. She's not sure why it does. She just knows that it makes her uncomfortable and she wants Sarah to stop. That's not going to happen though. She's absolutely positive of that. Sarah is just going to keep on looking at her and that's all there is to it.

"Okay," the younger girl drawls as she dumps the tomato pieces into the pot. "Are you going to tell me what's going on? You've been acting weird all day. What happened? Did the bonehead do something wrong?"

"He's not a bonehead," Rachel sighs though in that moment she genuinely feels like he _is_ a bonehead. But that's just in that moment. He isn't always a bonehead though. He just has the ability to be a giant bonehead. "I just got a call from my friend this morning and he didn't really understand why I was so excited about the phone call. It's nothing."

"What was the call about?"

"My friend Nadia just got engaged. I was happy for her." Turning her head slightly to look at Sarah she sighs when she sees the searching look still on her face. She's pretty sure that it isn't going to go away until she knows the whole story. Rachel doesn't feel like telling her everything. And that's only because she doesn't want to talk in the moment. Not about that. But Sarah is as stubborn as she herself and Noah can be. "I told your brother what happened and he said he didn't get it."

"Didn't get what?"

"Didn't really get the whole marriage thing. He said that marriage doesn't really mean anything. I don't know. I guess it made me feel a little uncomfortable. It's a little weird to find out the guy that you've been dating for three years has no plans on ever asking you to marry him? It's a bitter pill to swallow. It's not like I expected him to ask me to marry him anytime soon or anything. But it would be nice to know that it could happen one day. He might be content having me be his girlfriend for the rest of his life but I'm not. I don't just want to be a girlfriend forever. I'd like to be a wife one day."

"Look," Sarah sighs with a shake of her head. "He's my brother, I love him, but he's a fucking asshole." Sarah sort of tries not to laugh at the way Rachel's eyes seem to bug out of her head when she says that. "What? It's true. He's a pretty good guy most of the time but the rest of the time he's a fucking asshole. He doesn't get that shit he says can be taken the wrong way. He doesn't realize that not everyone feels the same way that he does. He'll get it one day. Maybe. Or maybe not. Might do you some good to just tell him how you feel. Because he's not the biggest fucking idiot in the world but he's not a genius. Sometimes you gotta spell shit out to him."

"I know that he doesn't always get things without it being explained," Rachel confirms with a slight nod of her head. "But I can't tell him how I feel. It will just start a huge fight between the two of us and I don't want to fight with him. Every time we get into a huge fight we end up breaking up at least for a week or two. And I don't want us to break up again. We've been going pretty strong for a while now. I don't want to go through the whole breaking up process again. Not over this."

Rachel looks back at the pot and Sarah? Sarah just sighs.

* * *

Puck isn't an idiot. He can tell that something's wrong between him and Rachel. He's not sure what it is. All he knows is that they were fine when they got to Lima but all day she's been sort of cold. She's been trying not to be cold but she's been cold despite that. She's trying mostly for his mother and sister though and he knows that. He's just not sure what happened.

He waits until Rachel is asleep before he goes downstairs and pulls his coat back on, goes out onto the back porch with the bottle of vodka his mother keeps in the house. And sure, drinking might not help matters any but it also can't hurt in that moment. Well, it could if Rachel saw him but she's sleeping.

He's not sure how long he's out there before the backdoor opens but he doesn't turn to see who it is. If it's Rachel then he'll just have to deal with the fallout of him sitting out there drinking the way he is. But when Sarah sits down next to him he doesn't worry. His little sister isn't going to bitch at him for drinking. Why would she? She honestly has no reason to care. It isn't as though she didn't see him drinking many times when they were still living together.

"So, you were an asshole apparently."

Puck turns his head slightly to look his sister, his dark eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Okay, do you remember what conversation you had with Rachel today?"

"No…" Puck takes another long drink from the bottle and then shrugs a little. "Well, we talked about her friend getting engaged."

"Bingo."

"Still fucking lost."

"Asshole, you said that you thought marriage was stupid. Do you know who you're dating? Rachel Berry isn't the type of girl to be content with just dating a guy for the rest of her fucking life. You basically told her that you're never going to marry her. It upset her. She feels like your relationship might not be going anywhere. And she doesn't want to say anything to you about it because she doesn't you two to get into a huge fight. Because when you two fight you breakup. Well, that's what she told me. So, you know, you have to either have to talk to her about it or decide that you're going to maybe marry her one day or something. I mean, you love her, right? So then maybe you should consider possibly marrying her one day. You don't have to. But you can think about it. She _is_ the only girl I've ever seen you this hung up on."

Puck doesn't really say anything to her but only because he doesn't know what to say and when Sarah goes back inside he's sure that she's done with the conversation. And sure enough she doesn't bring it up again the entire time he and Rachel are in Lima for the holiday. Rachel does a good job of pretending that everything is fine while they're there. She's even pretty alright when they're on the plane. She doesn't act like there's anything wrong at all. She just sort of smiles at him when it seems necessary and just sits there for the rest of the time. If he didn't know any better he would never know there was actually anything wrong between them.

They go through that same sort of strange awkwardness that's not all that awkward because she acts like there's nothing wrong even though he knows better for the next couple of weeks. Even without his sister having spoken to him he would have known that there was something wrong with her. But his sister at least cleared it up for him. Still, he just wishes that she would talk to him about what happened, why she's so upset. But he knows she won't. She's just not the type of person to do something like that. Not if she thinks it'll start a problem. And it could possibly start a problem if she says it the wrong way. They both have their problems, their tempers. They're both very stubborn.

They're sitting at dinner one night and he just looks at her for a while, looks at her while she's not looking and then sighs a bit, stabs at his food as he watches her. "So, I've been thinking?"

"Oh? About what?"

"A lot of things." He watches her for a little longer and then sighs. "Can you look at me for a second please?"

She looks up at him slowly like she doesn't really want to but he gives her credit for actually doing so. "I'm looking at you."

"I was thinking. About the whole thing I said about marriage. I know you're, like, totally into the whole idea of getting married. I know that's something you want one day. And I'm not really the type of guy who has ever considered getting married before. It's not really my thing. But I've been thinking lately." He stabs at his food while he's still looking at her. "I'm not promising you anything. I mean, I can't promise I'll ever want to get married. But…I don't think I won't anymore. I just know I love you. And I don't want to lose you. So, maybe one day we'll end up married. I don't know. But…just so you know? If I ever get married? You're the only one I'd ever consider marrying. Okay?"

It's not the best answer but it's a good enough answer. It's one she can live with for the time being. It's something they might have to revisit in time. But she can leave it at that for the moment. So she just smiles at him a little and nods her head a little, looks back at her food. "Okay."

It's not a big proclamation of love or anything of the sort. It's sort of just a reassurance of how much he loves her. And no, that doesn't tell her that she could end up being his wife one day but it's a step closer than she was the day before. And because she loves him? Well, she can accept that. She can definitely accept that. She can deal with a maybe. Because a maybe is better than a flat-out 'no' as a flat-out 'no' would just end up making her feel like they have no chance. But they have a chance. She knows that now.

And that's enough to make her feel better. It's enough to make her feel like they have a chance.


End file.
